Men's Obsession...

What is the fascination with guys and porn? All guys watch it, and most guys won't admit that they like it to their girlfriend, wife, or girl they are trying to impress. Yet, as soon as you leave the house they go straight to the computer or videos to watch it for hours. Yes, the people are having sex on porn, that's what it is. No big deal! However, why do men lie about watching it and sneak around behind their significant other's backs to watch it?

The first guy I was in a long term relationship had porn. I knew that soon after we met. I thought that it was just a couple of videos, no big deal, we even watched some together. However, I was not at all prepared to find that he had been surfing the internet and watching porn behind my back. I also came across boxes and boxes of it in the closet of the apartment we shared together at the time. I also came home early one time and found him masturbating on the couch of our apartment to a video.

When I entered into a relationship with my now ex husband, I made it extremely clear that I do not tolerate porn, and it would either be porn or me, and explained my past experience. He said that he was shocked that my previous boyfriend would do that to me, and that he would never ever do that to me. Imagine my shocked surprise when my mom found that he had been downloading porn video clips from the internet, and then deleted them to the recycle bin on her computer, but neglected to empty the recycling bin. I was working about 10 minutes from where we lived with my mother, and was coming home every day for lunch. I was also 8 months pregnant at the time with his baby! He had started in right after my Mom left for work, and stopped 5 minutes before I was due to come home for lunch. Then he tried to deny it, like I was stupid!!!!! That was not the first time!!

My best friend went through the same thing with her now ex-husband. He would watch porn both on the computer and on TV, including PPV, which she found. He would sneak around behind her back and watch it. He even said that he did not find her body attractive. She was 8 months pregnant at the time, and thought he meant that she wasn't attractive when she was pregnant. He then dropped a bomb, and told her that he was bored with her body before she got pregnant. Now, I have always believed that my friend is gorgeous. She is a beautiful person inside and out, no matter what she weighs. Yet, she believed this jerk, and it devastated her.

Ok, I think that porn can be a useful tool between a loving couple if they desire to use it, or a way for an outlet for a single person who is not dating. However, sneaking around behind your significant other's back for this is simply unacceptable! Why do men feel that they need to deny that they are using it, yet still do it? Do they think we are stupid? Do they think we know nothing about finding it on computers and on PPV lists? One thing that this whole ordeal has taught me is how to find out when this is happening! I'm not naive or stupid, and don't like being treated as if I were!!

Gwen