15 years

Yesterday was exactly 15 years since my cousin Deena died in a car accident. We spent what ended up being her last day together. We went to Alamoosic lake and swam. We spent hours doing that and driving around. We then went back to her house and baked a cake for our grandmother, who's birthday was the day before. After we spent the day together, she dropped me off at home, and headed out to Blue Hill to meet friends. On her way, she ended up rolling her car, and she never made it.

Yesterday was a very hard day for me. She was my best friend and the person I looked up to the most. I loved her so much, and loved spending time with her. After I heard the news of her death that day, I felt like I had died too. It changed me forever. That day was the start of my battle with depression.

I bought a bleeding heart yesterday, which seemed fitting. The last time I bought one was with my Mom for my aunt after Deena died. It seems fitting to me that this should be the flower that reminds me of Deena and her death. I still get the feeling that she's with me from time to time. As a wiccan I believe that it is because she is. Sometimes I get an overwhelming feeling that she's standing behind me, and I know without a doubt that it's her. She is always behind me, maybe she's letting me know that she's watching over me (She's "got my back").

Deena, you are very much loved and missed by all of us!!! Fifteen years seems like a lifetime!!

Gwen