Tut Tut it looks like rain

"Christopher Robin!" he said in a loud whisper.
"Hallo!"
"I think the bees suspect something!"
"What sort of thing?"
"I don't know. But something tells me that they're suspicious!"
"Perhaps they think that you're after their honey?"
"It may be that. You never can tell with bees."
There was another little silence, and then he called down to you again.
"Christopher Robin!"
"Yes?"
"Have you an umbrella in your house?"
"I think so."
"I wish you would bring it out here, and walk up and down with it, and look up at me every now and then, and say 'Tut-tut, it looks like rain.' I think, if you did that, it would help the deception which we are practicing on these bees."


Ok, I went outside and thought to myself "It looks like rain". Then of course, being a HUGE Winnie the Pooh fan, I thought of the Little Black Raincloud story. Not only did I think of it, I heard it in my head as Michael (ex-boyfriend for those of you who don't know) used to read it to me. He used to read Winnie the Pooh stories to me until I fell asleep, and he even did cute voices for all of the characters. It's amazing how my mind works. It made me smile and remember great memories. :o)

Gwen

15 years

Yesterday was exactly 15 years since my cousin Deena died in a car accident. We spent what ended up being her last day together. We went to Alamoosic lake and swam. We spent hours doing that and driving around. We then went back to her house and baked a cake for our grandmother, who's birthday was the day before. After we spent the day together, she dropped me off at home, and headed out to Blue Hill to meet friends. On her way, she ended up rolling her car, and she never made it.

Yesterday was a very hard day for me. She was my best friend and the person I looked up to the most. I loved her so much, and loved spending time with her. After I heard the news of her death that day, I felt like I had died too. It changed me forever. That day was the start of my battle with depression.

I bought a bleeding heart yesterday, which seemed fitting. The last time I bought one was with my Mom for my aunt after Deena died. It seems fitting to me that this should be the flower that reminds me of Deena and her death. I still get the feeling that she's with me from time to time. As a wiccan I believe that it is because she is. Sometimes I get an overwhelming feeling that she's standing behind me, and I know without a doubt that it's her. She is always behind me, maybe she's letting me know that she's watching over me (She's "got my back").

Deena, you are very much loved and missed by all of us!!! Fifteen years seems like a lifetime!!

Gwen

The new guy in my life - four legs, wiskers, fur and all!

Ok, that sounds pretty bad. You're probably wondering if I have a new boyfriend that's less than, um, perfect? Naw. A couple of weeks ago I was at my step-sister's house. She is getting to leave for basic training, and has to get rid of her cats. I was patting Gabbers, and she asked me if I wanted him. She had Gabe when she used to live with us at Mom's house, and I knew that he is a sweet cat so I said yes. I knew that it would be a challenge at first especially, but had not expected him to be as skiddish as he was. This had developed since he moved with her in with her Husband, so I only can guess what they (or he) must have done to poor Gabbers.

It took Gabe a couple of days to come out of hiding, but I have been very patient. He mainly comes out in the evenings when we're more quiet and has become so much more comfortable around us. I can see a difference in him already. He has become my special sweetie (much to my other 3 cat's dismay), since he is so scared. He now meets me on the stairs when he hears me tell Azize that it's time for bed. He knows that he gets his lovie time with me after Azize has been put to bed. If I don't pat him on the stairs, he comes and rubs on my legs as I sit on the computer. What a little lovebug!

Gwen

Tired :o)

I'm sitting at my desk at work and I'm very tired. I don't want to do work!! I just want to go home. I was up late last night. I had a long day yesterday. Well, after work I went up to drop off a chair that I was giving away to someone on my freecycle group that didn't have a car, and then back to walmart for grocery shopping. That was 75 miles at that point. After grocery shopping, a quick drive through supper (horrible I know, but it was late), and home to get Z to bed. Then putting groceries away which entails cleaning out the fridge. This is the most dreaded of tasks.

At that point I was actually feeling a little down. I got an IM from a good friend even though I was on "invisible", and ended up chatting for hours. It was nice, and exactly what I needed. Then I was too wound up to sleep, so I thought it was a good time to do the dishes. It was midnight at that point. As I was laying down to go to bed, I realized that I hadn't posted my homework for school. So I got up to do my homework. It's a retake class, so it's rewording my previous work so I don't get slapped with Plagiarism for reposting my own work(Outragious but beside the point), then back to bed at 2am.

I'm actually pretty lucid today for 4 1/2 hrs of sleep!!! Check back in a couple of hours and it may be a different story. LOL! I snore, so hopefully I won't end up sleeping slumped over my keyboard at work.

Cheers. At least it's almost Friday. :o)

Gwen

A sheep in the wolf's lair?

I literally feel like I'm going crazy, or like I'm about to sell my soul to the devil. Ok, maybe I'm being melodramatic. I'm setting myself up for a big fall again. I'm single again. I have no idea what it is, maybe a side effect from one of my new meds, but my libido has sky rocketed. I'm uncomfortable to say the least. Not only that, but I'm craving touch, and to be held, kissed, etc.

I've been talking with an ex. I won't name any names, but this certain ex broke my heart into a million pieces last fall. We've been friends again for a month or two now, and since my last relationship ended, our conversations have turned in another direction. I have recently asked this person to make love to me. I'm not at all scared of this person, or the act, and I made it clear that I was just after the sex and being near another person. But what happens if we do it, and it awakens all of those feelings I had for this person that it took me so long to surpress? (I'm still gonna do it though! LOL!)

~Gwen