My Gram was an amazing woman. She was full of fire, and was the epitome of a yankee woman. As I got older, I realized just how much we were alike. I thank the goddess every day for that. I learned from the best. She was my hero and personal role model. I can only hope that I am like her.

My Gram was an outspoken woman, who fiercely protected those that she loved to the end. Even when she was nearly 80, weak from chemotherapy and barely able to walk she managed to threaten to kick the ass (her word, not mine) of someone that was harassing me. She was the type of person who told you what she felt and thought, no matter if it would hurt feelings or step on toes.

She shattered the stereotypes for women at the time. In a time when women were stay at home wives and mothers (or trying to become them if they weren’t already), she worked on a tractor in the field. When she did marry and have children, she could not be forced to stay in an abusive and unhappy marriage in a time that divorce was virtually unthinkable. She smoked, she drank, and she swore. She wore men’s jeans, hair cut short and curled, and above all else, she was herself. Not what people wanted her to be, or what society wanted her to be, but herself.

She was bisexual (I’m assuming bisexual instead of lesbian because she had been married), and lived with her partner despite what I’m sure people said about her behind her back. I grew up essentially with two grandmothers – Gram and Bobbie. I didn’t know there was anything out of the ordinary there, and there was nothing wrong with that situation. They loved each other and wanted to be together. I loved Bobbie dearly. Bobbie was a part of the family, and we mourned when she passed on. My Gram mourned Bobbie’s death for the rest of her life. If that’s not love and devotion, I don’t know what is.

My gram was also a spiritualist and was interested in mediums, contacting spirits of those who are passed, etc. She and Bobbie had attended a spiritualist church. When I learned this a few years ago, I knew there was more of a connection between her and I than I had realized up to that point. We had similar outlooks on this matter, and similar interests and beliefs.

I am thankful for the time that I got to spend with her before she died. I got to take care of her every day for three months while we all stayed with Mom. I got to show her how much I loved her by caring for her and spending time with her. I will never regret that, and will always cherish that time.

It’s been almost a year since my gram passed onto the summerland. I was thinking of her this morning on my way to work, and called out to her and told her how I missed her. She came to comfort me right then, and surrounded me with love and reminded me that she is always with me. I could not stop the tears that fell onto my cheeks, just as I can’t stop them now.

Gwen