I'm feeling good for a change...

I have been feeling very depressed for the last couple of weeks. Of course stress and harassment from my ex did not help how I was feeling. I am usually pretty confident about who I am, but lately I have been feeling very down on myself and very unattractive. No specific reason that I should because I got immediate attention from a few guys when they found out that I was single again. This should have made me feel good, but it didn't.

Part of it is that I am very self concious about my weight. I have gained about 30 pounds since my divorce, and about 50 pounds since the weight I lost when I came home from California in 2000. I've always been a little on the... how you say... Ample side. It's just getting to the point of being uncomfortable and causing hip/back pain. I needed to do something so I started weight watchers last week. In the past week I have lost 5 pounds, which is an accomplishment for me. I plan on keeping it up!! A good friend of mine gave me pointers on excercising, so I'm geared up and ready to go. I talked with a good friend last night that was going through personal problems and was feeling down. Now, for those of you that don't know me, I am a very nurturing person and I jump into action when either someone needs me or needs reassuring. I'm simply wired to nurture. Makes me a good Mom, which is something I'm proud of. We ended up talking off and on for hours, and I got to laugh which I haven't done in awhile. Thank you so much. It made quite a difference on me. I helped you, and you ended up helping me.

Thank you to all of my close friends that have listened to me bitch, cry, bash myself, made me apologize to myself, and have just been there for me when I needed you most. You know who you are. I love you all with my entire heart, and I could not have gotten this far without each of you! You have all touched my life and my life would not be the same without you.

Ok, that's all. Now I'm ready to cry again, but at least they're not depressed tears.

Gwen